Yesterday it was my birthday

It is actually pretty horrible to live apart from your family. Yes, they called and said nice words but I would have loved to receive tons of hugs from them. Colleagues congratulated me, gave me presents, but that's different. I want to go home.

And you know what?

I've been thinking a lot about Severus lately. What if letting Lily go (which is probably impossible, but anyway) would have weakened him before those seven years of constant strain? What if that is the only thing that kept him alive and mentally stable? As stable, of course, as he can be in general.

And whenever I go to Hogwarts, all I hear is Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily... Fuckin' pink pony land.